Final Fantasy Classethusesis
by Dwarkyzidez
Summary: Join Dragoon and company in their wacky adventures! This story may cause fatal spasms and make you play jump rope with you're liver.


Final Fantasy Classethusesis!  
  
Chapter 1: Meet the Team  
  
I was sitting on a log, polishing my great, silver lance. Mediator and Priest were setting up some tents, Knight was training his swordsmanship, and Time Mage was, unfortunetly, cooking us dinner. When I was done polishing, I got up and walked over to Time Mage. "What are you cooking?" I asked.  
  
Time Mage turned around with a freaky grin on his face. "Bacon and Eggs!" he shouted. Time Mage was a very....freaky guy. He died his hair green and he's crazy! Once, we were fighting a goblin, and he casted haste...on a tree!  
  
I backed away from Time Mage, but I accidentally bumped into Knight. Knight looked at me and opened his mouth. ".... ... .... ... ... .....!" Knight was mute, so he can't speak, but we all know that he is VERY strong. But he is obsessed with killing people and reading porno mags.  
  
"Sorry, Knight! It won't happen again," I said. So I walked over to where I saw Mediator and Priest, but they weren't there. Then I noticed that there was only 1 tent up and there was some light coming from it. I shuddered at the thought what those two are doing, but y curiosity overcame me. I opened the entrance to the tent and there they were, with a liplock. They looked at me and I ran.  
  
I ran over to some pieces of a tent. I picked them up and carried them to a tree. The dew on the grass gave the field a shiney, sleek look. It was silent, so silent that you can hear far off voices from other groups and clans on their way to the next town. I started to set up my tent. Then I saw a group walking over to where we're making camp. The group consisted of 5 people: A male wizard, a female samurai, a female archer, a bard, and a male Knight. They all rode their own yellow chocobo. I just watched them as they came up to me.  
  
"Excuse me, thou dragoon, do thou know where thy city of Ruins is?" asked the Bard in his old-english accent.  
  
I gulped when I saw the blonde-haired Knight reaching towards his sword. I knew he was high-leveled and would kill me if I didn't tell them. "Just go east from here and over some hills. You can't miss it."  
  
The archer giggled and looked at me. "Thanks! Say...aren't you a member of group Classethusesis?"  
  
I blushed. The Archer had long blonde hair and an angelic face. Her silver bow in her hand gleamed in the evening moon. "Yeah, I am..."  
  
The Knight interrupted me. "Now we must go. See ya later, dragoon."  
  
And so the group rode off east. I decided to go hunt some monsters for me to eat, cuz I won't eat Time Mage's bacon-and-eggs crap. The autumn breeze blew in and some of my silky black hair was revealed from it's hidden spot in my dragon-head helmet. I walked off into the large, lush plains.  
  
It was almost 8:00 in the evening when I finally found something that I could eat. It was a red panther with giant paws. It was happily eating some grass. I hid behind a small bush and watched the panther lay down and start to sleep. This was my chance. I leaped out of the bush and jammed my spear into it's body. It gave a loud yelp and died.  
  
I marched back to camp with the red panther hanging over my shoulders. Once I got there, I saw Time Mage in an apron that said 'Kiss the freakin' cook!'. He was waiting for me with a bowl full of some moldy eggs and some strips of mutated bacon. "OH GOD NO! HE DURN GOT HIMSELF A SHREW-PIG!" he yelled when he saw the Red Panther. He threw the eggs at my head, blinding me. Time Mage grabbed the red panther's corpse. He flung it around, smashing it into trees and rocks. Limbs were flying everywhere. The head shot into the tent where Prist and Mediator were having sex. Priest screamed and ran out of the tent naked. She tripped over a paw and landed face first. Mediator looked outside and blushed.  
  
"Anyone wanna cookie?" he asked.  
  
Time Mage was thrown into a state of madness. He went berserk and started tearing down everything! He gnawed on the trees and threw giant rocks at passing groups trying to avoid the mad man!  
  
Stay tuned for the next chapter! Next time, the group travel out to a port city and try their hardest to get some tickets for a ship ride to the next country on the Gigantic. There is a guarentee of laughs and craziness as Time Mage gets his head stuck in a toilet! On the next chapter, Chapter 2: Give me my Damn Ticket! 


End file.
